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Writer, public speaker, and all-around gadfly the late great Christopher Hitchens noted, religion poisons everything. That assertion is certainly debatable. However, what is certain is that religion ruins babysitting.

In other words, parents hide your children from so-called holy men.

No, we’re not discussing the Catholic Church’s pedophile priest sex scandals. This time it’s the Dalai Lama telling a young boy to “suck my tongue.”

YouTube video
Reddit user Dormeo69 made this comment about the video, “What a terrible day to have eyes.”

It’s as if the Dalai Lama said to himself, “I’m going to give a tutorial on how to be creepy and people are going to love it and applaud.”

The Nobel Peace Prize winner invites the boy on stage, saying “first here” and pointing to his cheek, which the boy kisses, before he says “then I think finally here also” and points to his lips.

He then pulls the boy’s chin towards him and kisses the child on the lips.

Cue the applause.

After the kiss, he tells the kid to suck his tongue. And then he tickles the child.

The Dalai Lama has apologized for the incident.

It should be noted that sticking out your tongue was used as a greeting in Tibetan culture.

According to Tibetan folklore, a cruel ninth-century Tibetan king had a black tongue, so people stick out their tongues to show that they are not like him (and aren’t his reincarnation).

I still haven’t seen anything about the tradition of the sucking of the tongues.

The Dalai Lama is no saint. Hitchens penned the Salon article His material highness about the man.

While he denies being a Buddhist “Pope,” the Dalai Lama is never happier than when brooding in a celibate manner on the sex lives of people he has never met. “Sexual misconduct for men and women consists of oral and anal sex,” he has repeatedly said in promoting his book on these matters. “Using one’s hand, that is sexual misconduct.” But, as ever with religious stipulations, there is a nutty escape clause. “To have sexual relations with a prostitute paid by you and not by a third person does not constitute improper behavior.” Not all of this can have been said just to placate Richard Gere, or to attract the royalties from “Pretty Woman.”

If there is any such thing as reincarnation, we can only hope the next incarnation will be more reasonable with less tongue.

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Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He's made millions of people laugh as well as angry. (He hopes he's made the right people annoyed.) Targets...