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Tallahassee, Florida – Checks made out for the amount of “thoughts and prayers” are flooding into the Ron DeSantis for President Campaign.

There are so many fake ones we’re accidentally throwing out real checks.

DeSantis campaign worker

Thoughts and prayers

No one knows who wrote the first check mocking the GOP tagline of thoughts and prayers. Newsweek in 2018 reported a woman from Michigan named Fern Malila wrote a check to pro-gun politician GOP Representative Jack Bergman after the Parkland, Florida mass shooting. “Dear Rep. Bergman, since you and your colleagues in Congress seem to feel that this is the solution to mass murder, please accept this contribution,” she wrote in a letter with the check.

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis isn’t just the recipient of one aggravated voter. Rather, tens of thousands of thoughts and prayers checks were mailed to the Friends of Ron DeSantis at 610 South Boulevard Tampa, Florida 33606.

Some disgruntled individuals are even crank-calling the Friends of Ron DeSantis telephone number (813) 254-3369. And those people are very, very bad for wasting the time and energy of the good people supporting Governor DeSantis.

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Governor DeSantis and guns

But why are people targeting the man who initiated anti-masturbation school lunches? It seems that Governor Ron DeSantis is intent on loosening gun laws in the Sunshine State.

In the aptly named article, ‘People will die’: why is Ron DeSantis loosening gun laws most Floridians support? The Guardian reveals the ugly alliance between the school shooter industrial complex and DeSantis.

With Republicans’ sweeping control of the state legislature and governorship, the bill – which would allow Floridians to carry guns without a permit or training – easily passed both chambers before being signed into law by DeSantis. The Florida house approved the bill late last month in a vote of 76 to 32, and the senate then passed the proposal in a vote of 27 to 13.

With a majority of Floridians held hostage to the GOP and gun lobbyists, some decided to take matters into their own hands and wrote thoughts and prayers checks. Even though it probably won’t make a rat’s whisker of a difference, it is bringing national attention to how insane DeSantis and other Republicans are.

A prayer vigil for AR-15s

Florida’s evangelical Christian leaders and DeSantis met and held a candlelight vigil for what they call “America’s assault rifle, the AR-15.” Numerous rightwing followers of Jesus met on the front steps of the statehouse and lifted up their voices to the LORD.

“Every generation has a civil rights battle,” DeSantis said. “Our generation is to free the AR-15.”

Several hymns had their lyrics changed to reflect the nature of the event. What a friend we have in Jesus was changed to What a friend we have in the Second Commandment. Some present tried to point out that the Second Commandment and the Second Amendment are two different things, but they were kicked out for causing trouble.

In related news, a minister practices hands-on testing for breast cancer.


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Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He's made millions of people laugh as well as angry. (He hopes he's made the right people annoyed.) Targets...