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Here are three sexually awkward haiku. These are ripped from the pages of my life. Each one condenses a long story into the traditional Japanese three-line, 5-7-5 syllable structure.

Am I proud of my intercourse-based poetry?

Yes. Yes, indeedy.

We are not here to shame! We are here to uplift each other even when that means talking about embarrassing events. The truth of the matter is, we live awkwardly and that means we oftentimes love clumsily.

Do you have a sexually awkward haiku in you? Feel free to tweet me @LaughPurgatory. Perhaps we can make #sexuallyawkwardhaiku a trend?

I hope you enjoy these bagatelles.

by Mateus Campos Felipeb

Balancing work/life

Orgasms on the office desk

Best meeting ever

by Oil Woodman

Volkswagen rocking

Tappety-tapping-oh, no!

The cop was pleasant

by Luis Machado

We met at the gym

Old enough to be my mom

Hard candies are nice

Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He's made millions of people laugh as well as angry. (He hopes he's made the right people annoyed.) Targets...