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Ivanka Trump is telling her close friends and associates that her younger sister Tiffany “backstabbed her” and now Ivanka is no longer welcomed at Mar-a-Lago or on her father’s campaign trail.

There are reports that Ivanka is choosing to stay away from former President Trump’s public engagements. The official story is that she is done with politics and that Tiffany is stepping up to help out her father. After Donald’s latest speech Tiffany and her husband Michael Boulos stood by in support.

Ivanka was nowhere to be seen.

MAGA nation is not wasting time and mourning Ivanka’s departure. Rather, Trump’s fans on Twitter are happy with the younger daughter’s new role.

MAGA America loves Tiffany Trump

The unofficial story is that Tiffany made a series of power moves that left her sister out in the cold.

Backstabbing Tiffany Trump

Insiders state there were conflicts between the two women for months before Ivanka’s banishment. Time and time again the elder sister was the recipient of backhanded comments like, “For someone so old you look good,” and “Dad always uses tongue when he kisses me.”

Ivanka reportedly took the microaggressions in stride until finally she just had to say something. And that something was a snarky comment about Tiffany’s ill-fated attempt to be a pop star with that terrible song Like a Bird.

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“That’s the reason why you’re now a so-called legal research assistant,” she sniped.

Even while the two bickered face-to-face the younger Trump was busy talking trash to Dad Donald about Ivanka. She insinuated that Ivanka was ready to testify against him in a court of law. There’s one thing the former president values is loyalty and the thought of his eldest daughter working with the Justice Department against him was maddening.

Former President Trump is many things: a liar, an adulterer, an orange, and a would-be autocrat. What he isn’t is intelligent. Tiffany was well aware of this when she arranged to have a deep-faked video of Ivanka talking to pornstar Stormy Daniels about Donald’s manly private part.

Donald knew one thing and one thing only — Ivanka needed to be banished from his inner circle.

You’re fired!

It was a sunny Sunday morning in Mar-a-Lago only one month ago when Ivanka was effectively fired from the Trump clan. “You blew it. You’re fired,” he told her at the breakfast bar during brunch while waiting for his custom made omelet.

“For what?” she asked.

He only responded with a cold glare and walked away with his western omelet.

She had no idea what went wrong. Everyone had thought brother Eric would be the one thrown out for the litany of scandals. “He had lost millions investing in Dogecoin and then there was the lice problem,” she told a friend. “How did I get voted off the island before him?”

Barron tells the truth

If Eric and Donald are the least intelligent members of Team Trump, then Barron is the smartest. He has a history of high grades in school. He also has a history of conducting some high-level pranks.

On July 4th, 2018 Barron and a team of pranksters smuggled a large Russian bear named Trumpkin into the oval office of the White House. Trumpkin was a brown bear and originally from Kamchatka, Russia. When the Donald walked into his office on the birthday of the USA he was greeted with a bearhug and big wet honey-flavored lick. The 700 lb animal’s trainer was close by to make sure the commander-in-chief didn’t become a happy meal for the Russian beast.

And then there was a time he made missing person posters of Eric.

Barron saw Tiffany’s machinations against Ivanka.

He was the one who told her the ugly truth.

“I don’t like either one of them,” he admitted to a close friend. “But dislike Ivanka a lot more.”

Ivanka is practicing self care

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines self care as health care provided by oneself often without the consultation of a medical professional. And Ivanka seems to be reacting to her sister’s backstabbing ways in an emotionally responsible way.

Andrew Canard is a licensed social worker and therapist who’s helped many patients with their mental health. He believes there are concrete steps to take in order to heal after a betrayal.

You have to give yourself time to process and heal.

Andrew Canard LICSW
  • Do not immediately strangle, punch, karate chop, or choke the family member who thought they could get away with “it.” Rather, tape a photo of them on a pillow and take out your anger on it. Repeat as necessary.
  • Stay away from the sneaky, conniving snake who screwed you over and is probably laughing about it right at this minute. And do not just stay physically distant, but block that backstabber on your phone and social media.
  • Figure out how you feel. On a scale of 1-10 is your anger at an 11? Good. Write that down in a journal so when you have the opportunity to strike back you won’t get soft and emotional.
  • Talk to loved ones to see whose side they’re on in order to plan out your eventual revenge effectively. Were they in on the plan?

“From what I see, Ivanka is taking a much needed break from the family before executing her plan of bloody vengeance,” he said, “and that’s mentally healthy.”

In related news, Former President George W. Bush was arrested in Germany for crimes against humanity.

Please support journalism by buying this brave reporter a cup of coffee.

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Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He's made millions of people laugh as well as angry. (He hopes he's made the right people annoyed.) Targets...