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Todd and Julie Chrisley are responding to their prison sentences by publicly saying God’s plan may not be the right plan at this time. “I know God is in charge of everything, so my wife and I going to prison is part of HIS plan,” Todd said, “but in my plan, the IRS would never have caught us.”

God’s plan is me going to jail? That can’t be right!

Todd Chrisley

The reality TV stars were recently sentenced to a combined 19 years in prison for tax evasion and fraud.

He was sentenced to 12 years in prison, plus 16 months on probation. His wife and co-star on Chrisley Knows Best was handed down a sentence of seven years, as well as 16 months of probation.

In June, the couple were convicted of having inflated their net worth in order to secure more than $30 million in fraudulent loans. They were also found to have dodged their taxes since as early as 2009 and to have hidden their earnings from the show from the IRS. (In fact, their accountant, Peter Tarantino, was convicted of filing false reports for them. He was sentenced to three years in prison.) Julie was also found guilty of committing wire fraud and obstruction of justice.

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Professor Andrew Canard has a PhD. in Theology and Hypocrisy. He teaches Christian Studies at Miskatonic University and authored the books If God Is In Control, Then Why Did My Milk Go Sour? and It’s OK For God To Punish You, But Not Me. He believes the Chrisleys are typical faith-based con artists who got caught with their hands in the cookie jar.

Canard points to the extensive research showing there is a distinct positive correlation between acting in a self-righteous manner and being a complete and utter skumbag. Though there are many examples, one most quoted in the literature was how comedian Bill Cosby loved wagging his finger at young Black men and telling them to pull their pants up.

Cosby launched his controversial political career with the infamous “Pound Cake Speech,” which he delivered at the 2004 NAACP Image Awards. He justified the killing of an unarmed youth for stealing “a piece of poundcake.” He criticized those who dared to challenge an excessive use of force, stating, “But what the hell was he doing with the poundcake?”

Cosby took his Pound Cake Black Conservative Show on the road, constantly chiding young black men to “pull up your pants” (advice he should have adhered to himself). He never gave voice to issues of racism, sexism, the failed public school system, health and economic disparities, mass incarceration or police brutality. Instead, he spent over a decade disparaging black folk to the delight of white conservatives.

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While Todd and Julie Chrisley didn’t rape anyone, they followed a similar path to Cosby. Their reality show Chrisley Knows Best is reminiscent of Father Knows Best. Each episode tells of some high jinks where the family learns an important life lesson. “They were preaching and at the same time displaying vast wealth,” Canard noted. “I’d be surprised if they weren’t crooks.”

Those close to the Chrisleys report the couple just can’t get their minds around the fact they are going to jail. The couple supposedly asked for God’s forgiveness for a crime they refuse to admit publicly and believe God should keep them out of jail. The reality show stars can’t understand why God just can’t see things their way.

In related news, Florida mistakenly bans the year 1984.


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Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He's made millions of people laugh as well as angry. (He hopes he's made the right people annoyed.) Targets...