Washington DC – In an unprecedented move, President Trump ordered the invasion of Mexico. In a tweet early this morning, he stated the government of Mexico is hoarding medical face masks medical professionals in the US need.
Mexico is wasting precious face masks on Mexicans. The great US military is liberating millions of face masks from the tyranny of Mexico. God bless the USA! #2020
The Face Mask Crisis
Roll Call reports the face mask crisis in the US is very real. Some medical professionals are forced to make use of what they have on hand.
As the national shortage of face masks becomes severe, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says nurses can use bandanas and scarves as makeshift masks when caring for COVID-19 patients — although it’s unclear whether they would protect medical workers.
The CDC says that option should be used “as a last resort” and only when the hospital nearly depletes its supply and experiences a crush of COVID-19 patients, reaching “crisis capacity.” The CDC acknowledges that its recommendations are out of step with standards of care in the United States.
President Trump notes the US military will not only liberate face masks but bandanas, too.
This Is Not A Distraction
“This is totally a distraction,” Professor Andrew Canard of the Theological Institute of Technology (TIT) stated.
He isn’t alone. Analysts from around the globe state the Face Mask War is a distraction from the Trump administration’s bungling of the COVID-19 pandemic.
“The US stole California, Arizona, and New Mexico from Mexico during the Mexican War,” Professor Canard quipped. “Going in and stealing bandanas and face masks is 100% American.”
The war is expected to last as long as President Trump feels it is necessary.
In related news, Betsy DeVos demands a space wall against space aliens.