Washington DC – President Trump officially dropped Mike Pence from the 2020 GOP ticket. In what may be a sign of desperation or election year genius, singer-songwriter Kid Rock is now on the campaign team.
Many political pundits believe this sudden change is smart. Mike Pence is from Indiana which is a red state through and through. Mr. Rock hails from Michigan which Trump won in 2016 but is currently trailing Joe Biden in polls by 10 percent. Trump has just increased his chances dramatically to win The Wolverine State’s 10 electoral votes in 2020.
Professor Andrew Canard teaches Trumpian Dumpster Fire Studies at Miskatonic University. He is not surprised by the untraditional move. “Trump is known for his doubling down strategy. He’s doubled down on racism. He’s doubled down on stupid. And now he’s doubled down on celebrity.”
Republican stalwarts are celebrating the potential elevation of Kid Rock to the second most powerful office in the United States of America.
- “Bawitdaba-da bang-da-dang-diggy-diggy-diggy. Said the boogie-said up drop the boogie.” – Senator Lindsey
- “GrahaStoned pimp, stoned freak, stoned out of my mind. I once was lost, but now I’m just blind.” – Senator Mitch McConnell
- “Only God…..Only God Only God knows why. Only God….knows….why, why, why only God knows why. Take me to the river’s edge. Take me to the river, hey hey hey.” – Jerry Falwell Jr.
The Democratic National Committee (DNC) has yet to comment. Inside sources believe the change isn’t going to alter Biden’s strategy of not engaging Trump directly until it’s absolutely necessary.
In related news, an odd Trump campaign ad from 2016 resurfaces.