Reading Time: 2 minutes President Trump attacks white genocide!
Reading Time: 2 minutes

 

Washington DC – President Trump placed heterosexual white people on the Endangered Species List. The commander-in-chief tweeted that Director Andrew Canard of the United States Fish and Wildlife Service (FWS) is including whites on the list alongside protected species like the Christmas Island goshawk, Staghorn coral, and the White-winged wood duck.

Apparently, the President didn’t tell Director Canard about his new role as Protector of White America before tweeting. Sources state Mrs. Canard woke her husband up early this morning with the news. He is supposedly responded, “How the heck am I supposed to do that? Put razor wire around suburban cul-de-sacs?”

White House sources state President Trump and his team have a few suggestions on how to protect white heterosexual men and women. They include:

  • Every white straight man will receive Alex Jones’ special brand of testosterone boosting I’m No Soy Boy Man-Building Supplement.
  • White privilege is now a tax deduction.
  • The United States Fish and Wildlife Service will provide special habitats for white people to thrive. The states of Vermont, West Virginia, and Idaho are being reserved for whites and whites only.

Libertarians are up in arms over this big government move. The Endangered Species Act of 1973 is a clear example of government overreach. Freedom loving Libertarians are united in thinking if the Christmas Island goshawk wants to keep living, then it needs to obtain AR-15s with high capacity magazines just like everyone else. More laws aren’t the answer.

White Evangelicals are ecstatic with the new protections. However, most believe the law doesn’t go far enough. “What about white babies still stuck in their mommas?” asked Baptist preacher man Justinian P. Drew. “We need the United States Fish and Wildlife Service to protect the unborn!”

Congress is seeking to pass a law to include protection for unborn whites.

 


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Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He's made millions of people laugh as well as angry. (He hopes he's made the right people annoyed.) Targets...