Reading Time: 4 minutes [Author Note: I wrote this piece when reflecting on my experience of early sexual abuse and then later, being trafficked. I could not articulate a lot of these words before now, because they felt lodged so deeply inside me in a place that I couldn’t, and didn’t want to, reach. CONTENT WARNING: It will almost […]
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Posted inSex & Gender
Taking Back My Body
Reading Time: 6 minutes I was not my own. I was bought at a price. I was my beloved’s and he was mine. My husband and I were each raised in conservative evangelical Christian homes and churches, and we were both given the same basic messages: our bodies belonged first to God and second to our future spouses. It […]
Posted inReligion, Sex & Gender
From Jesus Freak to Polyamorous Pansexual: A Purity Culture Diary
Reading Time: 9 minutes This is the story of how a prudey Jesus freak turned polyamorous, pansexual slut, as best I know how to tell it. The Origin Story: My Passport2Purity Water balloons. Needles. Toothpaste. Construction paper. Food dye. Quick, what do all these things have in common? If you know, chances are you’re a card-carrying purity culture survivor like […]
Posted inCulture, LGBTQ News, Religion, Sex & Gender
Positive Promiscuity and Self-Image
Reading Time: 6 minutes By Alessio Fiore Readers of this blog have likely noticed one of the most popular refrains of the abstinence-only movement. Whether it is manifested with hokey images of chewed gum, beat up gym shoes, or gunky scotch tape, the message is clear: “You are who you sleep with.” (Doubly important for those whose genitals happen […]
Posted inReligion, Sex & Gender
The Privileged Cruelty of Religious Right Sex Rules
Reading Time: 9 minutes Religious conservatives want an exclusive right to dole out the privilege of sexual pleasure and intimacy on their own terms—and leave a lot of people out. Sexual intimacy and pleasure are some of humanity’s most cherished experiences. The so-called “best things in life” include natural beauty, fine dining, the arts, thrilling adventures, creative pursuits and […]
Posted inThe Secular
Are You Expecting a Pat on the Back?
Reading Time: 4 minutes This past Thursday I came across a tweet in my feed by Lindsay H Freeman, a Christian author, who stated, “No other world religion quotes almost 100 women in its primary source book. The Bible has 93 women who speak.” (pictured below) Wow! That’s great news for women, right? Obviously the implication here is that […]
Posted inSex & Gender
Using Porn to Heal
Reading Time: 5 minutes Relocating to a new town as a thirty something with four kids wasn’t exactly easy, but the opportunity came at a pivotal time in my life. It was 1999, only I wasn’t partying. My marriage was ailing under the stress of my recovery from sexual abuse, and the Christian faith I had built my life […]
Posted inReligion, Sex & Gender
Sexual Purity: What They Said vs. What We Learned
Reading Time: 10 minutes I had a very eye-opening conversation with my mom recently. We were talking about my marriage to my ex, and she asked me if her hunch was correct that I’d have married him anyway if my parents hadn’t given us the go-ahead. (You see, in our iteration of purity culture, even as a 22-year-old adult, […]
Posted inLGBTQ News, Religion, Sex & Gender
Overshadowing Bigotry: One Christian’s Plea for Transgender Acceptance
Reading Time: 3 minutes Against my better judgment, I recently got into an argument with someone about how much our placement in history influences our thinking. He couldn’t get it. He condemned slavery and racism, but he also condemned my assertion that if he were alive in the era of Jim Crow, he’d probably have been a racist himself. […]
Posted inSex & Gender
The Worst Sex Education: Not Talking About It at All
Reading Time: 6 minutes [Today’s guest post is written by Karen Garst, former Executive Director of the Oregon State Bar and editor of an upcoming book entitled Women Beyond Belief: Discovering Life without Religion.] Two of the most effective manipulative techniques at religion’s disposal are shame and guilt. They are used to turn affection, love, and desire which result in sex […]