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A little light relief…

The Carrot King

The Carrot King was victorious and is now the monarch of Veggie Land. He easily barbecued the Bush Bean Baron. The Rhubarbio Ruler was in a cobbler before he knew what happened. The Count of Cruzberry was juiced despite the hordes of religious rutabagas who believed him when he said he had been commanded to run by the Great Artichoke. The final battle against his nemesis, Queen Clintonion was hard fought, but he sliced her and diced her and then he enlisted some of his oily friends to smear her with innuendo until she was cooked.

His army of angry cabbage and cauliflower heads think he is wonderful no matter how many lies he tells. Whatever he says today is true, even if he says the opposite tomorrow. He has surrounded himself with plutocrat potatoes, billionaire beets and radical radishes, headed up by his capo, the Top Bannona. (That’s a fruit, but if you call him that, your life will be in danger.)

He says he wants to make Veggie Land grate again. That would be okay with the majority of voters in Veggie Land. They did not vote for the Carrot King, and would be happy to see him grated.

Bert Bigelow is a trained engineer who pursued a career in software design. Now retired, he enjoys writing short essays on many subjects but mainly focuses on politics and religion and the intersection...