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Relief efforts are underway in New Zealand after their worst flooding in history. This morning, a welcome force for good joined the government agencies. God (6,027), a familiar face to Jews and Christians everywhere, was seen donning a reflective vest and helping move some sandbags.

“No one, to my knowledge, prayed for this specific outcome,” said the prime minister of New Zealand, Chris Hipkins. “We are of course glad to have such a powerful symbol working with us.”

Hipkins spoke with what was later described as a thousand-yard stare. Others were not so impressed.

“Sometimes these things just sort of happen.”

Fr. Fritz Blanck

“I don’t see why God should get any praise at all,” said atheist activist Sam Harris. “Most believers will reluctantly agree that he is at least partially responsible. If I shoot someone in the head and then drive him to the hospital, do I deserve praise?”

The deity himself has been taciturn about his role in rescue operations. He is refusing to answer any questions directly, leaving many confused as to his actual motives. Some claim to see an occasional enigmatic smile. Others dismiss the claims, citing poor visibility due to rain.

“The weather conditions are making our job very difficult,” said one aid worker. “We’re very glad for any help God can provide.”

God’s representative on Earth, Pope Francis, was unavailable for comment. However, Vatican spokesman, Fr. Fritz Blanck, articulated the official church position.

“Sometimes these things just sort of happen,” he said.

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Barry Purcell lives in Ireland and writes about religion, philosophy, psychology, politics and language for a variety of paper and online publications. He has been involved in campaigns to counteract the...