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It’s only April, and already New York high society is preparing for the must-attend event of the year. OnlySky spoke to Bryce Yeoville, fashion coordinator for major functions in New York, about how to dress properly for an arraignment.

“It’s hard to believe he used to be president,” he laughs. “It seems like another lifetime!”

Usually, the more serious the event, the more muted the wardrobe. This time, however, Yeoville is recommending his clients go bold.

“Trump’s 2017 inauguration saw a few pastels with lots of safety greys and browns. For the arraignment, I’d like to see lots of bright primary colors,” says Yeoville. “After all, this is a celebration!”

Trump arrived at his appointment in an understated blue suit, red tie, and trademark yellow hair. His only concession to fashion appears to be the tense negotiations early this morning about his best side. The police finally agreed to give him final cut on his mugshot photo.

“We still don’t have a confirmed trial date, but my sources say it’s inevitable,” says Yeoville. “Let’s make the city pop with geometric prints, large fields of color, daring hemlines, and statement pieces to set it all off.”

When asked what the statement might be, Yeoville just winked and made an obscene gesture. 

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Barry Purcell lives in Ireland and writes about religion, philosophy, psychology, politics and language for a variety of paper and online publications. He has been involved in campaigns to counteract the...