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Posted inSatire

Justice Thomas says he would ‘wife up’ Amy Coney Barrett ‘in a heartbeat’

Reading Time: 2 minutes Washington DC – Justice Clarence Thomas is secretly taking anti-harassment classes due to his numerous inappropriate remarks made to Justice Amy Coney Barret. Chief Justice John Roberts ordered the 74-year-old Thomas to attend the classes after several incidences. On more than one occasion Thomas has said he would “wife up” the 51-year-old Barret ‘in a […]

Posted inSatire

State map reveals nothing

Reading Time: < 1 minute The United States Bureau of Statistics has revealed what a map of America would look like right now if each state had a 50% chance of being red or blue. “The future is hard to predict,” said Liam Smalls, a spokesman for the Bureau. “However, we can be utterly certain about which side of the coin […]

Posted inSatire

People are going crazy over Passover Paint

Reading Time: 2 minutes CNN – Camden, Mississippi is like many rural areas in The Magnolia State who have fallen in love with Passover Paint. Its people live simple lives. They get up in the morning, go to work, and when they come back home many of them don’t worry about their firstborn children being killed by the angel […]

Posted inSatire

Donald Trump warns of the ‘Gestovo’

Reading Time: 2 minutes Former President Trump is back on Facebook and it took him a second to cause controversy when he warned “real Americans” about the danger of President Joe Biden’s fascist “Gestovo” seizing gas stoves. Sleepy Joe Biden stole the election and now he’s after your gas stoves! First, the Gestovo came for the gas stoves and […]

Posted inSatire

Scott Baio loses lawsuit and has to pay

Reading Time: 2 minutes Judge Andrew Canard of LA County ruled today that actor and Trump supporter Scott Baio needs to pay Judd Apatow’s production company, Apatow Productions, $1 million for what’s being called a frivolous lawsuit. Mr. Baio rose to fame playing Chachi Arcola in the comedy series Happy Days. He later played the title character in Charles […]

Posted inSatire

‘I have an evil twin’ confesses George Santos

Reading Time: 2 minutes CNN – Republican Representative George Santos is under fire for a web of lies/misdeeds and now he’s saying that his evil twin from a parallel dimension is to blame for the chaos. Evil George Santos is wreaking havoc with my reputation. George “The Good One” Santos Representative Santos from our universe told reporters that “Evil […]

Posted inSatire

Heavenly upgrade: God goes green

Reading Time: < 1 minute After several years of campaigning from environmental groups, God has finally agreed to upgrade all heaven’s light sources to compact fluorescent lamp (CFL) energy-saving bulbs. “This has been coming for a long, long time,” said Tony Green, co-author of How Many Gods Does It Take? and the chairman of Too Much Heaven, a loose organization of environmental groups […]

Posted inSatire

GOD is GOP

Reading Time: 2 minutes After hours and hours of reflection, I have become convinced that God is most definitely a Republican. And so I took the liberty of replacing the word ‘poor’ with the word ‘wealthy’ in numerous biblical passages. And of course, all those passages make so much more sense now! Behold:

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