Reading Time: 2 minutes Washington DC – Justice Clarence Thomas is secretly taking anti-harassment classes due to his numerous inappropriate remarks made to Justice Amy Coney Barret. Chief Justice John Roberts ordered the 74-year-old Thomas to attend the classes after several incidences. On more than one occasion Thomas has said he would “wife up” the 51-year-old Barret ‘in a […]
Comedy
Funny comics, jokes, and memes, with a secular twist at OnlySky, a secular community for nonreligious Americans.
Posted inSatire
State map reveals nothing
Reading Time: < 1 minute The United States Bureau of Statistics has revealed what a map of America would look like right now if each state had a 50% chance of being red or blue. “The future is hard to predict,” said Liam Smalls, a spokesman for the Bureau. “However, we can be utterly certain about which side of the coin […]
Posted inSatire
People are going crazy over Passover Paint
Reading Time: 2 minutes CNN – Camden, Mississippi is like many rural areas in The Magnolia State who have fallen in love with Passover Paint. Its people live simple lives. They get up in the morning, go to work, and when they come back home many of them don’t worry about their firstborn children being killed by the angel […]
Posted inSatire
Donald Trump warns of the ‘Gestovo’
Reading Time: 2 minutes Former President Trump is back on Facebook and it took him a second to cause controversy when he warned “real Americans” about the danger of President Joe Biden’s fascist “Gestovo” seizing gas stoves. Sleepy Joe Biden stole the election and now he’s after your gas stoves! First, the Gestovo came for the gas stoves and […]
Posted inSatire
Scott Baio loses lawsuit and has to pay
Reading Time: 2 minutes Judge Andrew Canard of LA County ruled today that actor and Trump supporter Scott Baio needs to pay Judd Apatow’s production company, Apatow Productions, $1 million for what’s being called a frivolous lawsuit. Mr. Baio rose to fame playing Chachi Arcola in the comedy series Happy Days. He later played the title character in Charles […]
Posted inSatire
The FBI finds Trump’s secret documents in Stormy Daniels’ home
Reading Time: 2 minutes FBI agents found former President Donald Trump’s letters, notes, and other drawings at adult film actress Stormy Daniel’s home in Los Angeles. The papers paint a disturbing picture of the heart and mind of the former President. Former President Trump copied pages of Mein Kampf onto legal pads just for the fun of it. anonymous […]
Posted inSatire
Tim Allen’s and Bill Cosby’s comedy tour is canceled
Reading Time: 2 minutes Actor and comedian Tim Allen were to team up with funny man and accused rapist Bill Cosby later this year. The two planned to tell their stories on what was being billed as the Bill’s and Tim’s Ain’t Misbehaving Comedy Tour. And now the show is officially canceled due to “wokeness.” The cancelation comes immediately […]
Posted inSatire
‘I have an evil twin’ confesses George Santos
Reading Time: 2 minutes CNN – Republican Representative George Santos is under fire for a web of lies/misdeeds and now he’s saying that his evil twin from a parallel dimension is to blame for the chaos. Evil George Santos is wreaking havoc with my reputation. George “The Good One” Santos Representative Santos from our universe told reporters that “Evil […]
Posted inSatire
Heavenly upgrade: God goes green
Reading Time: < 1 minute After several years of campaigning from environmental groups, God has finally agreed to upgrade all heaven’s light sources to compact fluorescent lamp (CFL) energy-saving bulbs. “This has been coming for a long, long time,” said Tony Green, co-author of How Many Gods Does It Take? and the chairman of Too Much Heaven, a loose organization of environmental groups […]
Posted inSatire
GOD is GOP
Reading Time: 2 minutes After hours and hours of reflection, I have become convinced that God is most definitely a Republican. And so I took the liberty of replacing the word ‘poor’ with the word ‘wealthy’ in numerous biblical passages. And of course, all those passages make so much more sense now! Behold: