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Posted inComedy

Tucker Carlson launches ‘Ukrainian White Christian Ladies’ lottery

Reading Time: 2 minutes FOX News personality Tucker Carlson is offering some lucky viewers “Ukrainian white Christian ladies” as prizes in a lottery. For a mere $100 white Christian male viewers can win a chance of getting their very own Slavic bride/companion. White American Christian men need white Christian women, and there are many white Christian Ukrainian women looking […]

Posted inSatire

Señorita pistols and the amendment after the First

Reading Time: 3 minutes The text of an upcoming speech by Senator Burlo Winchester—an advocate of the amendment after the First Amendment, also known as the amendment that must not be named, and sometimes called the Second Amendment—was intercepted this week: “My fellow Americans, Today I will exhibit a bill in Congress that will require citizens from age 5 […]

Posted inComedy

Apple discontinues Catholic clergy app KidR

Reading Time: 2 minutes Just days after Apple discontinued the iPod, it announced the discontinuation of KidR, the #1 app for Catholic priests. As of 11:59 PM this Saturday, the app will be wiped out of existence. The woke mob forced Apple to cancel KidR. Won’t anyone think about the children? Archbishop of Boston Sean O’Malley The app’s main […]

Posted inComedy

Catholic priest hospitalized after trying to exorcise cat

Reading Time: 2 minutes A Catholic priest was rushed to St. Elizabeth’s Hospital in Brighton, Massachusetts after suffering injuries while attempting to exorcise the devil from a Maine Coon cat named King. The Devil is real. The Devil will strike at us through any means available and that includes cats. Father Andrew Canard King’s owner, who wishes to remain […]

Posted inComedy

Florida changes ‘Homo sapiens’ in textbooks to ‘People sapiens’

Reading Time: 2 minutes The Florida state legislature voted to change Homo sapiens to People sapiens in hundreds of science textbooks. The Florida Board of Education is also placing bikinis on every image of female monkeys/apes and shorts on the males. Exposing students to ‘Homo sapiens’ may lead impressionable children to a gay lifestyle. Florida Secretary of Education Andrew […]

Posted inComedy

Reductress needs to do better

Reading Time: < 1 minute Hey, look! It’s the Reductress article, You Need to Vote to Fix This. I’m sure it’s not some piece that would disincentivize people on the left voting in an election cycle that could see Nazis (MAGA Republicans) take over the House and Senate. Let’s take a gander. In a developing story out of New York […]

Posted inComedy

5 guns for fetus self-defense

Reading Time: 2 minutes The NRA brands these 5 guns “For the fetus who may love their mom but doesn’t trust her 100%.” With the Supreme Court shooting down Roe vs Wade, it seemed only logical for gun manufacturers to create firearms to protect life in the womb. The only thing that will stop a bad mom is a […]

Posted inComedy

10 upcoming Supreme Court rulings

Reading Time: < 1 minute The Supreme Court is blazing a trail towards 1933 Germany with all of its wacky rulings. But if we were going to peer into a crystal ball, what will future decisions look like? Check out this shortlist of upcoming Supreme Court rulings. Uteruses have the right to remain silent (Justice Kavanaugh also writes in the […]