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Posted inSatire

Sean Hannity reveals the disgusting truth about Tucker Carlson

Reading Time: 2 minutes Dominion Voting Systems’ ongoing lawsuit against FOX News reveals texts between Sean Hannity and FOX executives on how horrible a coworker Tucker Carlson actually is. FOX News is charged with spreading falsehoods about Dominion and the efficacy of its voting machines. Dominion is seeking $1.6 billion in damages. Dominion’s lawyers obtained texts between FOX’s on-air […]

Posted inSatire

Prominent creationist Ken Ham links men’s nipples to nursing dinosaurs

Reading Time: 2 minutes The Devil’s Den, Australia – Speaking to a crowd at the Semi-Annual Meeting of Young Earth Creationists, Flat Earthers, and Crystal Coke Revivalists (YEAFECCR), noted Young Earth Creationist Ken Ham disclosed new research that shows men’s nipples were used to suckle dinosaurs. For three hours, thirty-three minutes, and fifteen seconds Ham rocked the alternative scientific […]

Posted inSatire

Elon Musk to buy Friendster

Reading Time: 2 minutes Twitter CEO Elon Musk is planning to buy the old-school social media platform Friendster. Friendster officially closed its doors in 2018, but that seems to be part of Musk’s master plan. The Verge reported that Elon went into crisis mode when he discovered President Joe Biden’s tweet received more exposure than his on Super Bowl […]

Posted inCulture

Christian candy heart messages

Reading Time: 2 minutes Candy hearts seem to be the right way to communicate to your Valentine’s Day sweetheart, “I thought of doing the bare minimum for you and then thought of candy hearts which somehow are even lower than the bare minimum. Enjoy this gift of trite heart-shaped sweets.” We should all remember that as soon as you […]

Posted inComedy

Catholic Church announces makeover

Reading Time: 2 minutes The Roman Catholic Church announced yesterday that the organization will change its name to Candle as part of a major rebranding. The head of the Vatican’s marketing team, Cardinal Lampeter, delivered the news. “Polling indicated that people mostly know us as a global network of pedophile-enablers,” said Lampeter. “Unfortunately, it’s hard to move forward when all […]

Posted inSatire

Ted Nugent shot by a white-tailed deer

Reading Time: 2 minutes Singer, songwriter, guitarist, hunter, and pro-gun activist Ted Nugent was shot by an as-of-yet-unnamed white-tailed deer who was armed with an AR-15. The incident occurred at 6:01 PM in the parking lot of the Bass Pro Shop in Waco, Texas. Mr. Nugent owns a home and a considerable plot of land in the community. Eyewitnesses […]

Posted inSatire

Conservatives blast Chick-fil-A’s new ‘woke’ sandwich

Reading Time: 3 minutes Is Chick-fil-A going woke? Conservatives this week are attacking Chick-fil-A as it is testing a new non-meat entree, the Cauliflower Christ Sandwich. The company realizes that diners are looking for healthier options and experimented with other plant-based sandwiches in the past. However, their earlier attempts did not succeed. “Customers did not like eating turnip patties,” […]

Posted inSatire

Disney sues Marjorie Taylor Greene for impersonating Cruella de Vil

Reading Time: 2 minutes The Walt Disney Company is suing Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene for copyright infringement. The multi-media and theme park giant charges that the conservative politician knowingly infringed on their intellectual property, Cruella de Vil, and is suing for $150 million in damages. Representative Greene attended the State of the Union speech by President Joe Biden in […]

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