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Posted inSatire

Puppy Commits Suicide Before Becoming Trump’s New Pooch

Reading Time: 2 minutes   Washington DC –  A seven-week-old Labrador Retriever puppy named Bailey took his own life in the early hours this morning after being told he was going to be adopted by President Donald J. Trump. Andrew Canard breeds Labrador Retrievers for the Washington elite and was ready to drive Bailey to his new home when […]

Posted inSatire

Mike Pence Hosts Anti-LGBTQ ‘No Contact Day’

Reading Time: 2 minutes Following last year’s Christ-centered resistance to the gay lobby’s celebration of the first homosexuals being physically intimate known as First Contact Day, Vice President Pence hosted the godly resistance this year from the White House. “I know in my heart that Satan is working tirelessly to force hard working Americans to place solar panels on […]

Posted inSatire

Secretary Of Education Betsy DeVos Ambushed By 4th Graders

Reading Time: 2 minutes Brookline, MA – The new Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos was continuing her tour of America’s public schools when she was attacked by the unruly 4th-grade students of  Mrs. Katz’s English class. “I instructed the children to mind their manners, but things escalated very quickly,” a bedraggled Mrs. Katz stated. Secretary DeVos was introduced to […]

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New Study: Powerball Jackpots Key To America’s Stability

Reading Time: 2 minutes A new study published by the prestigious American Affairs Journal shows overwhelming evidence that the key to long-term socio-economic stability in the United States of America can be obtained by ludicrously large Powerball jackpots. The researchers show that the odds of winning the contest have little to do with the calming effect Powerball has on […]

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President Trump’s People’s Court

Reading Time: < 1 minute Trump People’s Court – SNL is going to be a lot funnier if you watch Melissa McCarthy Returns As Sean Spicer first. Don’t worry, I can wait until you see the first video. Now that everyone is up to speed lets see what deviltry President Trump is up to! Enjoy! I’m just going to make the obvious […]

Posted inComedy, Satire

Free Speech Voted Least Likely To Succeed

Reading Time: 2 minutes Graduation may be months away, but the senior class of Bridgwater High School has already voted on students they think are notable notables. Senior Class President David Kaner was voted Most Likely to Succeed. Mary Shelby was voted Most Likely to do Pushups in the Middle of the Highway During an Episode of Mania. To no […]

Posted inSatire

Prominent Creationist links men’s nipples to nursing dinosaurs

Reading Time: 2 minutes The Devil’s Den, Australia – Speaking to a crowd at the Semi-Annual Meeting of Young Earth Creationists, Flat Earthers, and Crystal Coke Revivalists (YEAFECCR), Dr. William H. Hornstooth disclosed new research that shows men’s nipples were used to suckle dinosaurs. For three hours, thirty-three minutes, and fifteen seconds Dr. Hornstooth rocked the alternative scientific conference […]

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3 Facts You Didn’t Know About Attorney General Jeff Sessions

Reading Time: 2 minutes There’s a lot about our new Attorney General Jeffrey Sessions you already know. One interesting point of discussion among secular/atheist blogs is that our friend has very strong beliefs about non-believers as told in The Daily Beast article Jeff Sessions Said ‘Secularists’ Are Unfit for Government. “Ultimately, freedom of speech is about ascertaining the truth,” Sessions, […]

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Mike Pence Promises To Create The Department Of Anti-Witchcraft

Reading Time: 2 minutes 15th-Century Washington DC – The Trump administration is working hard to satisfy the voters who put them into power. In that spirit, Vice President Mike Pence is promising Americans he will establish the Department of Anti-Witchcraft (DAW). The handbook of the DAW will be the gold standard of anti-witchery, the 1490 classic the Malleus Maleficarum (The […]