Posted inSatire

America’s Exam Kitchen Proves It — Religion Poisons Everything

Reading Time: 3 minutes Brookline, MA America’s Exam Kitchen (AEX), the country’s premier television show on cooking, has proven what every anti-theist has known for years: Religion poisons everything. The staff have been working tirelessly behind the scenes and have been adding religion to every single appetizer, main dish, side, and dessert imaginable. Every single time religion has had deleterious […]

Posted inSatire

Canada Separates From North America

Reading Time: 2 minutes Ottawa, Canada Within a few weeks of welcoming 163 Syrian refugees and reiterating that Canada will take in a total of 25,000 by the end of February, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced that Canada has physically separated from the rest of North America. “We don’t mean any offense to our American cousins, but this […]

Posted inSatire

Mississippi Town Passes 30 Day Waiting Period For Gay Sex

Reading Time: 3 minutes Yazoo City, Mississippi  Mayor Batholomew Hensley signed a bill into law earlier today that will require a 30 day waiting period for anyone wanting to engage in homosexual intercourse within the bounds of that municipality. The new ordinance narrowly defines homosexual intercourse as one or more individuals of the same sex engaging in: fellatio, cunnilingus, orthodox […]

Posted inSatire

Fundamentalists Protest NASA

Reading Time: 2 minutes Kennedy Space Center, Florida Fundamentalist Christians reported that they have thronged at the front gate of Kennedy Space Center to assert the literal reading of the Bible which states that the sky is indeed a solid dome. Several protesters proudly held a banner that had Genesis 1: 6-8 emblazoned on it: God said, “Let there […]

Posted inSatire, Secularism

Study: Atheism Provides No Protection From Being An Asshole

Reading Time: 2 minutes A new study from the University of Blefuscu has conclusively shown that being an atheist offers zero (0%) protection from being a complete raging asshole. The research team followed a group of 23,458 self-reported atheists over a five-year span. Copious amounts of raw data was collected such as: the subjects’ tipping habits, how many times they […]

Posted inSatire

15 Year Old Is Converting For All The Right Reasons

Reading Time: 2 minutes Fifteen year old Barry Damon is converting to whatever religion his soon-to-be girlfriend Marilyn Shaw is.  Barry told reporters that his Southern Baptist faith is secondary to “the deep personal connection” he has to the girl he sits next to in Algebra class. Even though he hasn’t talked to Marilyn, the bass fishing enthusiast can […]