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Posted inGeneral, Satire

Evangelicals Happy With New Trump ‘666’ Tattoo

Reading Time: 2 minutes Evangelical Christians who love Republican Presidential candidate Donald J. Trump are universally excited about the Trump Brand 666 Barcode Tattoo the campaign now requires for staff and supporters. The Trump camp unveiled the hot new trend in body art late last week at a Hollywood function, and since then it’s been impossible for the specially trained tattoo artists […]

Posted inSatire

Genies Enlisted To Fight Evolution In Saudi Arabia

Reading Time: 2 minutes Riyadh, Saudi Arabia The mutaween (religious police) for the oil-rich theocracy announced that genies (djinn) are being enlisted in the fight against the Theory of Evolution both at home and abroad. While the idea that contemporary animals and plants developed from earlier ones are accepted in the West (exceptions: Kentucky, Mississippi, and Duck Dynasty Kingdom), […]

Posted inSatire

16-year-old converts for all the right reasons

Reading Time: < 1 minute Sixteen-year-old Barry Damon is converting to whatever religion his soon-to-be girlfriend Marilyn Shaw is.  Barry told reporters that his Southern Baptist faith is secondary to “the deep personal connection” he has to the girl he sits next to in Algebra class. Even though he hasn’t talked to Marilyn, the bass fishing enthusiast can discern from […]

Posted inSatire

Religious Conservatives Protest The Enlightenment

Reading Time: 3 minutes Paris, France – Faith-based protestors gathered in the City of Light to fight back the anti-religious movement known as the Enlightenment. Approximately starting in the early 18th century, the so-called Age of Enlightenment ushered in a period where reason and not faith is heralded as the way to manage everything from national governments to what […]

Posted inSatire

Statement Of The Archdiocese Of Blefuscu Concerning The Most Pernicious Law

Reading Time: 2 minutes This letter was read to the parishioners of the Blefuscu congregation this past weekend. The Archdioceses of Blefuscu echoes the concerns raised by the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB) over Johannes Kepler’s Third Law of Planetary Motion. We advise every Catholic to write or call his or her legislator to ensure that this pernicious so-called “scientific law” […]

Posted inSatire

State Senator Declares “Jesus’ Blood Will Make Coal Clean”

Reading Time: 3 minutes Charleston, West Virginia – State Senator Ryan John Wright III addressed a class of 3rd graders and informed them that they would all have careers in the coal industry despite the rise of so-called “clean energy” because coal can be made clean via the divine intervention of Jesus Christ.  All things can be done in Jesus’ name. […]

Posted inSatire

Grandmothers Everywhere Prepare To Guilt Their Grandchildren To Jesus

Reading Time: 2 minutes Grandmothers across the nation are preparing for holiday visits from family members by wrapping presents AND preparing to lead their children’s children to Christ. As the agnostic/atheist number of mothers and fathers grow, the burden of spiritual guilting the younger generation has fallen onto Nana. “Spiritual Guilting has traditionally been executed by the mother,” stated […]

Posted inComedy, Satire

Trump Surrogate Training Camp

Reading Time: < 1 minute   It’s the day after the first Presidential debate and all the flying monkeys that were housed in Mr. Trump’s butt are out in the world inflicting us all with their rhetorical poo. But how did they gain their expertise in poo tossing? Perhaps it was at the  Trump Surrogate Boot Camp? Let’s take a […]

Posted inSatire

African America Museum Unexpectedly Moves To Canada

Reading Time: 2 minutes Visitors who were hoping to visit the newly opened African American Museum (AAM) in Washington DC got an unpleasant surprise this morning when they discovered the AAM disappeared in the night. The 400,000 square foot building that houses 36,000 artifacts is gone and many initially feared for the worse. “There was some controversy about the […]