Reading Time: 2 minutes A new study by the Theological Institute of Technology shows that an overwhelming percentage of conservative men believe uteruses are communists. Researchers asked 3,474 self-identified conservative men what they thought of the female reproductive system. Even though the scientists expected extreme answers, they were surprised by the results. 88% consider uteruses are communists. 72% believe […]
Satire
Exquisitely scorching satire from a secular, nonreligious perspective.
Posted inSatire
Ohio GOP primary devolves into a winner-take-all shooting competition
Reading Time: 2 minutes Columbus, Ohio – This GOP primary in Ohio was supposed to be a cordial match between two seasoned politicians, but it is now centered around a winner take all shooting competition. Ohio senator Rob Portman is retiring. Senator Portman rose up in the ranks of the Republican party back in the time when people were […]
Posted inSatire
‘What Kind of Liar Are You?’ The game show and national craze
Reading Time: 3 minutes Carl (announcer): Today’s show is sponsored by Dissembler Nation, the resume and CV organizer unit that “Gets You Jobs!” Audience: [rousing applause] Dave (host): Everyone lies sometimes, don’t they? What kind of a liar are you? Our celebrity panel will choose among today’s contestants and the winner will be taking home a pile of cash along with a wax statuette […]
Posted inSatire
Why is Ted Cruz so unpopular?
Reading Time: 2 minutes Senator Ted Cruz is unpopular. The general public does not like him. He’s the butt of countless jokes on Saturday Night Live. Even his fellow Republican lawmakers find him intolerable to be around. But why? Here are a few news stories illustrating why Ted Cruz is so unpopular. Ted Cruz abandoned Texans in their hour […]
Posted inComedy
Social media alternatives to Twitter and Elon Musk
Reading Time: 2 minutes Millions are looking for a social media alternative to Twitter due to American oligarch Elon Musk buying out the company and taking it private. Those looking to leave Twitter are worried that Musk’s leadership will cause the platform to devolve into a Proud Boys rally led by former President Donald J. Trump. But what are […]
Posted inComedy
Try our streaming service, Commercial Palooza, that offers the best payment plans!
Reading Time: < 1 minute At Commercial Palooza, we know what you really want: more commercials and less programming. So, try one of our payment plans that aim to please, at ridiculously low rates! $3.99/month This option features a solid hour-long block of commercials that has been conveniently placed right before and during that climactic scene where you’re supposed to […]
Posted inSatire
Tucker Carlson’s ‘Panini Penis Press’ huge hit at Trump rally
Reading Time: 2 minutes Donald Trump railed against dishwashers at an Ohio rally over the weekend, but the real story is the huge success of Tucker Carlson’s Panini Penis Press. Former President Trump’s event featured him complaining about low water pressure. But just when you think you’ve hit rock bottom stupid, the floor collapses, and a whole new idiotic […]
Posted inComedy
Disney is evicting Florida Governor Ron DeSantis
Reading Time: 2 minutes The Walt Disney Corporation is evicting Governor Ron DeSantis, and he has 30 days to vacate the governor’s mansion. Lawyers from the Magic Kingdom served the eviction notice at 5 am local time. The half-asleep DeSantis had no idea what was going on. Governor DeSantis declared war on Disney. Disney stands with the LGBTQ community. […]
Posted inComedy
The man who met Methuselah
Reading Time: 4 minutes The Man of the Dart. The Man of the Javelin. Sacred texts say he was the oldest person who ever lived… His name was Methuselah and—in spite of the fact that he is a well-known figure in Judaism, Christianity, and Islam—he is still a largely an enigma centuries after his death. Or at least… he […]
Posted inComedy
GOP’s Earth Day paper towels actually kill the planet
Reading Time: 2 minutes In an attempt to clean up its anti-environment and pro-pollution image, the GOP unveiled its Earth Day paper towels. Unfortunately for the rest of us, the paper towels are far worse than the run-of-the-mill ones. The Earth Day paper towel burns the skin if you touch it without protection. Wear gloves! Consumer advocate Andrew Canard […]