Reading Time: < 1 minute Former FOX News personality Bill O’Reilly is being forced to attend Mrs. Davis’ kindergarten class so that he can learn his manners. Judge Andrew Canard handed down the punishment after watching this video of Mr. O’Reilly threatening a JetBlue employee. The employee’s crime? Being in the wrong place at the wrong time. The Hill reported […]
Satire
Exquisitely scorching satire from a secular, nonreligious perspective.
Posted inSatire
InfoTwits: Elon Musk wants to buy Infowars AND Twitter
Reading Time: < 1 minute Elon Musk wants to buy Alex Jones’ company, Infowars. The embattled Jones was about to have the company declare bankruptcy when Musk made the offer to buy the company for 100,000 dogecoins ($14,000). Jones made a public statement earlier today saying he’s strongly considering the offer. Many insiders are wondering what is going on with […]
Posted inSatire
Florida cancels 54 science textbooks over ‘prohibited topics’ like Uranus
Reading Time: 2 minutes Florida cancels 54 science textbooks due to references to the planet Uranus. The Board of Education is ecstatic and is also looking to ban any astronomy book that references the planet as well as the term black holes. The planet Uranus is suggestive and may lead impressionable students to a life of sodomy. florida Secretary […]
Posted inSatire
Christo-fascists celebrate Easter
Reading Time: 2 minutes Christo-fascists around the world aren’t taking any time off as they celebrate Easter. Considered to be one of the two main recruiting holidays of the year (the other being Christmas), these authoritarians are bringing out tried and true methods with a new spin to make the rest of us a bit more miserable and stupid. […]
Posted inComedy
BREAKING: Propeller hats giving millions windmill cancer
Reading Time: < 1 minute A new study confirms propeller hats are giving millions windmill cancer every year. The research from Miskatonic University reveals even small windmills can cause the deadly disease. Even a small propeller attached to a hat can give someone Stage Gust windmill cancer Professor Andrew Canard Once scoffed at by “experts” and “people with medical degrees,” […]
Posted inComedy
Let’s see your precious ‘Easter Bunny’ rise from the dead!
Reading Time: 3 minutes Hey kids, come on out here! Daddy has a grisly surprise! No, it’s not Grandpa. You know how I’ve been trying to lead you kids to the unconditional love of God and, you know, keep Him from sending you to burn in Hell for all eternity? Yes, you’ve all been very brave and alternately mocked […]
Posted inSatire
The war in Ukraine: Americans rededicate themselves to ignorance
Reading Time: 2 minutes The war in Ukraine is about to enter a bloodier stage as Russian forces mass in order to push out the Ukrainian military from the Donbas region. As the Ukrainian people fight for their lives, many Americans are rededicating themselves to stupidity. Our man on the street asked some of them what their thoughts are […]
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Kirk Cameron’s new movie is ‘Die Hard in Heaven’
Reading Time: < 1 minute HOLLYWOOD – Insiders are calling Kirk Cameron’s new movie Die Hard in Heaven. The 51-year-old devout Christian is reportedly determined to tell a story that amounts to a prequel to the Bible. Director Andrew Canard heads the team. He’s directed the Christian films Persecuted Christians vs Woke Antifa as well as the classic Critical Race […]
Posted inComedy
Banned from the Oscars Will Smith joins SlapFIGHT Championship
Reading Time: 2 minutes Actor Will Smith gave up acting and is now a SlapFIGHT professional. This sudden turn in Mr. Smith’s career is partly due to his 10-year ban from attending the Academy Awards. Although he officially said he regrets slapping comedian Chris Rock in front of millions, his latest move to join the SlapFight Championship is raising […]
Posted inComedy
The Jesus-Analog Cat, The Boring Old Biddy, and the Unsupervised Kitchen Appliance – Chapter 3
Reading Time: 8 minutes Lola ran out of the junky room down the hallway, looking for her siblings. Primarily because there wasn’t anyone else to talk to. “Pay attention,” she snapped. “I’m back!” “What in God’s name are you talking about, Lola?” sneered Sadie. “You haven’t been wondering where I was? Wait, don’t answer that.” “I’ll answer that,” Parker […]