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Sorry for bothering y’all so soon after the last post, but I couldn’t hold onto this till Saturday. This needed attention and it needed it right now. It’s about Matt Pitt, who continues to gross everyone one with his bizarre antics.

Remember Matt Pitt?

You remember our homeboy Matt Pitt? He’s the youth pastor who decided it’d be awesome to pretend he was a cop–twice! He got caught doing it that second time and tried to run from the law, an attempt that culminated in his very weird and likely pharmaceutically-enhanced appearance on local TV news stations wildly explaining why he kept doing that and why he was totally innocent. When the cops converged on one of these stations (since he’d thoughtfully just informed them of exactly where he was), he leaped off a goddamned cliff to try to escape them.

He got caught, of course, and sent to jail, where his lawyer–his second, from what I understand, and I couldn’t find a reason why he didn’t want to keep his first one, though Pitt did just about slander him by false witness, claiming the guy didn’t represent him well and didn’t show up to his first court case, which is categorically a totally blatant, completely and absolutely pants-on-fire lie–has been trying everything under the sun to try to get him sprung on whatever technicality they can manage to cook up.

Since we last talked about Mr. Pitt, he’s had what one reporter has termed an “epic[ally]” weird probation violation hearing, with his supporters–apparently he still has some–outside comparing him to the Apostle Paul and wearing T-shirts demanding his release from jail.

That Wasn’t the Weird Part.

Like look, I expect that kind of grandstanding from a disgraced evangelical minister. They all act like that when they get caught doing something really unacceptable, and their followers tend to circle the wagons just like Mr. Pitt’s have. Nothing to see here. Move along.

I do not however expect even a disgraced evangelical minister to openly brag about pimping the hot underaged girls at his church to prison inmates to try to convert them.

Oh, did that surprise you?

Cuz even after all this time out of the church and observing its more flamboyantly evil abuses, that tidbit definitely surprised me.

This Is.

But that is what he is doing in his effort to win souls even in jail:

“Some guy was telling me their churches would not let them back in the door because they have been to jail,” Pitt said. “I told them, ‘my doors just opened for everybody in the jails…. plus…. there’s a lot of beautiful women.’ So, I am using the women to lure them in there. And these guys are like… Really? And I’m like, ‘oh yeah man, we’ve got beautiful women there’… So I’m telling you I am using everything I can to get everybody in this building saved.”

Now, let’s remember something right off: by far, the vast majority of people in prisons are already Christian. They’re like Mr. Pitt–just sinners who got caught, but overall they’re already in the club.

But even more than that, let’s also remember that Mr. Pitt’s ministry, “The Basement,” is a youth ministry.

That means that quite a few of his adherents are in high school.

… Which means they’re underaged…

Which means he’s selling these underaged “beautiful women” in his ministry to felons and criminals.


Pimping Out Dat Redemptive Genitalia.

English: The Apostle Paul
The Apostle Paul (Wikipedia). Not shown: Paul pimping his bitchaz to felons.

Does that not take your breath away? Does that make you kinda wonder what the parents of these “beautiful women” think about him gleefully “using everything [he] can to get everybody in this building saved”? If I were the mother of one of the young women in “The Basement,” you can be damned sure of one thing: I’d be second-guessing my decision to let my daughter attend the services of a man who unabashedly uses my child’s body to lure the unwashed to church.

“I’m in love with a church girl” indeed. As our friend Psycho Gecko astutely mentioned in a comment, this is the selling of women as having “redemptive genitalia.” Women either get reviled as whores or sold as the gentlers and tamers of men, in the minds of people like Mr. Pitt.

When someone tries that “aw, what’s the harm of religion?” bullshit on me, this is what I point to:

Women become nothing more than bargaining chips in the hands of way too many Christians to get men in the door any way possible.

Taming the Wild Beasts.

These women are used to tame wild beasts, that women–even underaged women, even teenagers–become pawns and prey in ministers’ hands to sell to potentially violent, misogynistic criminals. “Come convert! Our women are gorgeous and apparently quite willing to be whored out by me! They’ll love you guys!”

He may well get his fellow (Christian) criminals in the door to prey upon these young women, but what kind of Christians are they going to become? Does he imagine that the lure of innocent flesh will draw them in and then they’ll magically morph into perfect wonderful godly Christian men because of the healing power of these teenagers’ Magic Pussies? Because Mr. Pitt’s already a Christian, and we know what kind of Christian he is and how that “redemption” worked out for him.

Remember, he’s presenting arguments he personally thinks are persuasive. This is the kind of argument that would work on a man like him. The idea of meeting women–many of these young women in high school, let’s not forget–is something that he’d personally find appealing. He wouldn’t use the argument if he thought it was nonsense or if he realized just how harmful it is to women to be treated like meat, like objects, like tools. He wouldn’t even go there if he realized he was selling sex to convert people.

Squaring the Circle.

I wonder how he squares this hot pimping action with his misogynistic message to the girls in his ministry to “act different”? (Bonus: Is it just me or is this guy hopped up on something interesting?)


If you could see me right now, you’d see quite an amusing sight: ever seen a cat smell something weird or bad? That lips-drawn-back grimace of sheer distaste? How it licks the roof of its mouth? Though I’m doing it for different reasons (the cat is likely doing it to get a better “look” at the smell), that’s kind of what I’m doing now. This is repulsive. Disgusting. And this big ole Christian man with his big ole Christian smile is bragging about doing this, like it’s some wonderful thing, like he’s some kind of redeeming disciple of Jesus even when he’s oh-so-unfairly put in prison. He thinks he’s demonstrating the power of his Jesus-peen: “look, nothing can stop me from doing the work of the Lawd!”

He thinks he’s showing us just how Christian he is.

And I guess in a way he is actually showing us exactly how Christian he is.

The soap opera that is Matt Pitt’s life continues. The next installment is sure to come along soon.

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ROLL TO DISBELIEVE "Captain Cassidy" is Cassidy McGillicuddy, a Gen Xer and ex-Pentecostal. (The title is metaphorical.) She writes about the intersection of psychology, belief, popular culture, science,...