Macs are like Miatas in that they don’t ever tend to break, but when they do, they don’t really mess around. I’ll try to keep updating, but please be patient while I get stuff worked out. Not sure what’s going on, probably hard drive as I’ve ruled out most of the other stuff. Well, it’s a five-year-old computer that’s seen heavy use for its lifetime. I reckon sooner or later everything goes the way of all flesh. I’ll try to keep updating via other means. <3 and have a great weekend.
Edited to add:
Here’s what happened next, because I don’t feel like burdening y’all’s inboxes with a fresh post.
I was taking a pick-me-up shower while Mr. Captain tried to figure out how we were going to afford a $300 shop visit for the Mac and a diabetic cat. I was in the middle of washing my hair and thinking “Oh, well, I’ll work on my crochet tonight and watch old movies on my Mac’s DVD player,” when I had this awesome Hunt for Red October moment and went wait one damned minute here as a blinding flash of the obvious hit me: I knew my DVD player worked fine, because I’d run a disk utility from booting from it. But the DVD player used the hard drive for something, didn’t it? In fact, everything else worked fine on the computer except, well, Chrome and Firefox, which lagged like mad and wouldn’t connect to La Internet, but only on my Mac. The PC and laptop were fine, as were the household smartphones, and the internet company had already verified all was well on their side. (Of course I ran an antivirus program and Memtest too.) If the hard drive was screwed, then why did every other program I tried to run on it seem to be just fine?
I barely got dried off when I was rushing back to the study to try one last thing: a reinstall of Firefox and Chrome and a wiping of cache et al. Safari worked fine (who even uses Safari on a Mac anymore?), everything connected with Safari. Ominously, the Mac thought it had a more recent version than the new version straight from Firefox, but once I got it installed, everything seemed hunky-dory again.
We’re crossing our fingies here, but your Captain is back at the helm again for now.