Reading Time: 2 minutes

Hi. My name is Lucy. I’m 10.

Me and my best friend Miranda opened up a lemonade stand on our block. It was pretty good. At least that’s what our friends and family said.

We’d sell a lot of glasses of lemonade in the summer. Maybe we got a little too popular, because one day, a man named Elon Musk came by and bought the lemonade stand.

And it’s been going pretty bad ever since.

We used to charge 25 cents per glass of freshly-squeezed lemonade. Now Mr. Musk wants to charge us $8 per glass.

He also wants everyone who buys lemonade from us to go through a security check program to make sure that they’re who they say they are when they buy the lemonade. But we know everyone who buys the lemonade from us.

It’s our parents.

He saw me and Miranda talking, so the next day he put up a sign on the stand that read “no unions allowed” and threatened both me and Miranda with legal action if we unionize. But I don’t know what that means. I was just trying to get Ms. Pederson’s homework from Miranda because she has the same science class I do.

Also, we can’t take bathroom breaks anymore. At school, they let us take bathroom breaks when we need to. When I told this to Mr. Musk, he got really upset and said that maybe I “wasn’t ready to compete in the cutthroat lemonade stand market”. But we’re the only lemonade stand on our block.

And the other day, he fired Miranda. The problem is that Miranda brought the lemons for us to squeeze from her grandma’s garden. So Mr. Musk had to apologize to her and make an offer to bring her back. He threated to fire me, but the lemonade stand is on my house’s lawn, so he couldn’t.

He also told me that I should quit school, because the lemonade stand is going to require my full attention. He said that if I didn’t put in at least “70-80” hours of work in a week, he predicted a disastrous future ahead for the lemonade stand.

Also, and I don’t know if this is related, but a lot of strange men have been coming to the lemonade stand to buy from us.

One of them said that the woke mob is destroying all the lemon trees in the west (I think he had a Russian accent). Another just screamed “woke mob!” over and over again, and talked about something called the “red wave”.

I really liked the lemonade stand that me and Miranda built. Our parents helped us paint the sign out front and my aunt lent us her juice squeezer. I liked selling lemonade to our neighborhood and talking to our friends and family. But Mr. Musk is going to ruin all that.

And I don’t even think he really likes lemonade.

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Casey Karaman is a writer, performer, improviser, and teacher who has worked with the Washington Improv Theater. He has performed in multiple theater productions, most recently in Second City's production...