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ERIN (11), doing social studies homework: Hitler isn’t still alive, is he?

DAD: Nope. He killed himself.

ERIN: When did he do that?

DAD: Right at the end of the war. The Soviet Army was closing in, and he shot himself before he could be captured.

ERIN: Omigosh, that’s exactly what happens on Club Penguin all the time!!

DAD: Uh…buh?

ERIN: You can do these karate duels on Club Penguin, and RIGHT when I’m about to beat the other person, he logs out…and I don’t get the points for winning. So Hitler did the same thing??

DAD: Pretty much.

ERIN: Figures. That is totally not fair.

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Dale McGowan is the author of Parenting Beyond Belief, Raising Freethinkers, and Atheism for Dummies. He holds a BA in evolutionary anthropology and a PhD in music.