Pastor Stovall Weems, one of the leaders of Florida’s Celebration Church, said over Easter weekend that he had a face-to-face meeting with Jesus. For real.
While this video is the one getting all the attention, a better version is below, and the relevant portion starts about a minute in.
Weems prefaces the story by admitting “when I’ve heard people say they heard Jesus or saw Jesus, immediately my ‘weird’ antennas go up.” Which is the right reaction. But I guess we’re supposed to shove those antennas back in our heads when he shares his experience.
Here’s the portion at 20:44:
… The first thing that I was taken back with is, like, Jesus’ personality. Like, this is how Jesus was when He was on the earth. Like, I heard His voice! The tone in His voice, the cadence of His voice. I could sense His mood. I could sense His presence, like, like, like… He has a personality! It’s like… He was fully God, but many times we forget, you know, the man Christ Jesus. Like, He came as a man! Like, so He has His own unique personality, and that was… so what, so so… so so so what’s overwhelming is, like, it’s like, He was new in that way, but at the same time, I felt like I’ve known Him forever. Like, like, like, like, like I can’t describe the closeness, the closeness that I felt with Jesus. Like, He didn’t look at me. Like, I never saw the front of his face… Maybe this is no surprise, He was wearing a white garment, you know? He had brown hair…
So to summarize: He met Jesus, who never once looked at him. Also, Jesus said next to nothing, looked exactly as you’d expect, yet Weems managed to get a perfect sense of who Jesus was.
Are you a believer yet?
Weems went on to say he was in a Last Supper-like room, but in Heaven, and Jesus served him bread… and why the hell am I still watching all this? It would’ve been a far more interesting story if Jesus said Christians were wrong about something. Instead, Weem’s hallucination reiterated everything you’d expect a megachurch pastor to say.
In case you’re wondering, there are no pictures. Pastors never seem to have their phones when anything good happens…
This isn’t a sermon from someone who met Jesus.
This is a sermon from a megachurch pastor who didn’t do his homework and wrote an Easter sermon at 2:00 a.m. the night before.
You know he’s making it up because he sounds remarkably like a man who claims to have seen an alien and, wouldn’t you know it, the alien looks identical to Hollywood’s depictions of them. Green skin, large eyes, antennas, etc.
The audience, as you’d expect, ate it up, cheering in celebration throughout his tale.
Weems also says in the sermon that he plans to leave the church before anyone else in the congregation that day because he doesn’t want to answer any questions.
Maybe he said that as a joke, but it’s hard to tell since that word could accurately describe the entire sermon.
(via Now the End Begins)