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It’s no surprise that newspapers are struggling, and one way they’re bringing something of value to their readers is by offering opinion pieces written by locals, something you can’t get anywhere else.

So if you’ve ever wanted to get published in The Roanoke Times, now’s the time to try it since it appears they’ll publish just about anything.

Clonnie Yearout, a retired fire department captain, wrote a piece that is based in so much scientific ignorance, you have to wonder how he ever got the job he had:

Many Americans are worried. We see time-honored traditions and cherished beliefs falling like dominoes, and we wonder what’s coming next. The American society that seemed so full of unity and promise at its founding is now staggering like a wounded albatross, pulled in myriad directions by forces that dilute our purpose and weaken our commitment to community. What brought us to this point? Where did we lose our way?

Gay marriage? Abortion? Where’s he going with this…?

I believe that the current downward trend of America and mankind in general can be laid largely at the feet of Darwinian evolution


Why is evolution the cause of the downfall of humanity? Because we apparently derive all of our morals and self-worth from Darwin’s theory and there’s no possible way society or our own experience or the Golden Rule play any role in how we live our lives:

If evolution is true, then there are no real and lasting societal values other than survival of the fittest. If evolution is true, ethics are situational and transitory, subject to institution, modification and elimination at the whim of those in power.

If evolution is true, then there are no moral absolutes. Expedience is the ultimate governor of all decisions, and the only moral right is that which advances the purposes of the most powerful. Nothing is right or wrong in and of itself. Only the perception and result of actions taken are important.

And that’s not even the dumbest thing he said:

If evolution is true, why abort millions of babies before determining their potential to advance the cause of human evolution?

Well, shit, Yearout just out-logicked us. Who knew all individuals had the potential to “advance the cause” of human evolution. Who knew human evolution had a “cause” in the first place?! Damn the Evolutionary Agenda! (Bastard son of the Gay Agenda, I’m sure.)

Finally, we get to my favorite part of the piece:

I’m not anti-science by any means, but…

I can finish that sentence for him. He’s not anti-science; he’s just anti-understanding-science, since if he listened to scientists instead of his pastors or Ken Ham, he might actually learn something.

(Thanks to Scott for the link)

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Hemant Mehta is the founder of, a YouTube creator, podcast co-host, and author of multiple books about atheism. He can be reached at @HemantMehta.