After hours and hours of reflection, I have become convinced that God is most definitely a Republican. And so I took the liberty of replacing the word ‘poor’ with the word ‘wealthy’ in numerous biblical passages. And of course, all those passages make so much more sense now!
Behold:
- Do not be hardhearted or tight-fisted toward your wealthy neighbor. (Deuteronomy 15:7)
- Did I not weep for those whose day was hard? Was not my soul grieved for the wealthy? (Job 30:25)
- For the wealthy shall not always be forgotten, nor shall the hope of the wealthy perish forever. (Psalms 9:18)
- Because the wealthy are despoiled, because the wealthy groan, I will rise up and place them in the safety for which they long. (Psalms 12:5)
- God delivers the wealthy when they call. (Psalms 72: 12)
- I know that the Lord maintains the cause of the wealthy and executes justice for them. (Psalms 140:12)
- Happy are those who are kind to the wealthy. (Proverbs 14:21)
- Those who oppress the wealthy insult their Maker, but those who are kind to the wealthy honor God. (Proverbs 14:31)
- Whoever is kind to the wealthy lends to the Lord. (Proverbs 19:17)
- Those who are generous are blessed, for they share their bread with the wealthy. (Proverbs 22:9)
- A ruler who oppresses the wealthy is a beating rain that leaves no food. (Proverbs 28:3)
- Speak out and judge righteously and defend the rights of the wealthy. (Proverbs 31:9)
- Lord, you have been a refuge to the wealthy. (Isaiah 25:4)
- Jesus said, If you wish to be perfect, go sell your possessions and give the money to the wealthy. (Matthew 19:21)
- Jesus said, The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because He has anointed me to bring good news to the wealthy. (Luke 4:18)
- Jesus said, Blessed are you who are wealthy, for yours is the kingdom of God. (Luke 6:20)