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In the recent past, conservative Supreme Court Justices have legalized bigotry by allowing businesses owners to refuse service to select customers. Conservative justices might do this again, and again and again.

America is not a country with a well-evolved service industry, and many business owners do not want to make profits by receiving money from customers who repulse them.

The Court has emboldened a long list of business owners and restaurant owners and hoteliers who are now willing to identify all the people they’ll refuse to serve in the future.

For an exhaustive and truly eye-opening list of refusals found in every corner of the nation, consult the Journal of Business Inanity, volume 108, number 11.

Here is an abbreviated list from that source:

  • We refuse to serve persons who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender.
  • We refuse to serve white Evangelicals.
  • We refuse to serve Black mafiosos.
  • We refuse to serve those designating themselves as ‘women over 6 feet tall.’
  • We refuse to serve the Baha’i curious.
  • We refuse to serve those who cannot pronounce ‘Worcestershire’ sauce.
  • We refuse to serve Buddhists who’ve converted to Catholicism.
  • We refuse to serve Catholics who’ve converted to Buddhism.
  • We refuse to serve persons who take solace in the poetry of Nikolai Klyuevs.
  • We refuse to serve Jews not named Cohen.
  • We refuse to serve Apaches and Comanches and Karankawas.
  • We refuse to serve members of the Donner party.
  • We refuse to serve anyone holding a wax statuette of the Dalai Lama.
  • We refuse to serve people missing one eye, one hand, or one leg.
  • We refuse to serve Blaise Pascal or anyone proffering his bogus wager.
  • We refuse to serve persons in leotards who speak in a Southern drawl.
  • We refuse to serve people from a named or un-named religion.
  • We refuse to serve those who feel inordinate hatred toward UFO pilots.
  • We refuse to serve people wearing cowboy hats.
  • We refuse to serve atheist sheepherders but we will serve agnostic sheepherders.
  • We refuse to serve those with a steak knife sheathed in their hearts.
  • We refuse to serve anyone desiring to nuke a gay whale for Jesus.
  • We refuse to serve those who lisp, stammer, or enunciate too clearly.
  • We refuse to serve conservative Justices (especially you know who).
  • We refuse to serve people who have lived on Visovac Island or Dunbar Island.
  • We refuse to serve people with fond memories of an attempted coup.
  • We refuse to serve persons with reddish-brown facial hair.
  • We refuse to serve Padres fans.
  • We refuse to serve those asking for ‘cornbread like Mama made.’
  • We refuse to serve ancient Mesopotamians.
  • We refuse to serve anyone who owns a fire works stand.
  • We refuse to serve distant relatives of the Roman poet Horace.
  • We refuse to serve ‘Johnny’ who works at that lube wrack near the Target store.
  • We refuse to serve members of the band ‘Mystic Montrose.’
  • We refuse to serve anyone who believes it is bad luck to be superstitious.
  • We refuse to serve tiny dancers and blue jean babies.
  • We refuse to serve lovely Rita, the meter maid.
  • We refuse to serve those whose last names begin with b, d, f, h, j, l, n, p, r, t, v, x, z.
  • We refuse to serve those whose last names begin with a, c, e, g, I, k, m, o, q, s, u, w, y.
  • We refuse to serve ourselves.
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J. H. McKenna (Ph.D.) has taught the history of religion since 1999 at the University of California, where he has won teaching awards. He has published in academic journals and the LA Times, Huffington...