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Originally posted on my personal Facebook page.

DickseeRomeoandJuliet

Here are eight useful advice for any man looking to have a successful date:

1) Dress well.

2) Be polite.

3) Smile.

4) If you want to impress her with your penis, don’t take it out. That’s rude. Instead, give her a statue of your penis as a gift.

5) Do not take a shower. East lots of gassy foods and fart a lot. Let your natural sexy aroma do the job.

6) Show her how unique you are. Spit for her, so she can see the range of your spitting acumen.

7) Pick a fight with the family on the next table and punch one of the children. This will show her your courage.

8) Kill her brother and gift her his severed head. Chicks dig severed heads of family members.

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An Iranian researcher, writer, and teacher who is an ex-Muslim atheist currently living in one of the theocracies in the world, Iran. Interested in literature, philosophy, and political sciences, especially...