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This is a cautionary tale of what happens when you never get proper sex education.

Greek Orthodox Bishop Neophytos Masouras, of the Church of Cyprus, claims that gay people are the result of pregnant women having anal sex.

It’s a claim that defies both common sense and human biology.

During his speech in June to a group of people in Akaki, the bishop said Saint Porfyrios made mention of the issue in his writings. “It is a problem, which is usually transmitted by parents to the child,” the bishop said.

He added that it occurs when the couple has sex while the woman is pregnant, and the sex is “unnatural,” as he characterised anal sex.

The bishop said that when the woman enjoys anal sex, “a desire is created, which is then transmitted to the unborn child.”

No word yet on why gay people exist when parents don’t have anal sex, or what process creates lesbians and transgender people, or if bisexuality is caused by both parents enjoying the act.

To put in perspective just how ludicrous his statement is, one comment on the viral video asks (I’m paraphrasing): If a pregnant woman performs oral sex, will the child want to become a dentist?

Funny. And just as logical as anything he said.

Laugh it off all you want, but the bigger concern is that there are people in the church who may very well believe that the way you have sex — or the way parents do anything — has any kind of bearing on their kids’ sexual orientation.