Reading Time: 2 minutes In a shocking new report from OnlySky media, scores of megachurch ministers embezzled millions of thoughts and prayers from the faithful. Thoughts and prayers meant to heal the sick, find car keys, and win bingo went to fund minsters’ extravagent lifestyles. OnlySky Reporter Andrew Canard Anonymous hackers broke into the private emails of Joel Osteen, […]
channel – politics blue
Posted inComedy
Justice Thomas shocked to find soldiers in his home
Reading Time: 2 minutes Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas returned to his Washington DC residence and was shocked to find a squad of 10 soldiers living there. I never thought a Supreme Court decision would affect me in a negative way. Supreme Court Justice clarence thomas Ginni Thomas, Justice Thomas’ wife, informed him the infantrymen arrived several hours earlier. […]
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Quiz: Have you ever been Jesusplained?
Reading Time: 3 minutes Have you ever been Jesusplained? Jesusplaining is similar to mansplaining and both are rampant in the United States of America. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines mansplaining as to explain something to a woman in a condescending way that assumes she has no knowledge about the topic. Jordan Peterson loves to Jesusplain to atheists that they really […]
Posted inComedy
Lauren Boebert’s favorite position for intercourse is Venmo
Reading Time: 2 minutes New claims from American Muckrakers PAC reveal Representative Lauren Boebert’s favorite position for sexual intercourse is the mobile payment service Venmo. So what? I pay my wife for sex. It’s a kink. Don’t shame us. Anonymous husband The news comes just days after Muckrakers unleashed a story asserting Boebert was once a paid escort and […]
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Queen Elizabeth blames the Second Amendment for US independence
Reading Time: 2 minutes London, England – In a moment that stunned the world, Queen Elizabeth II cursed the Second Amendment of the United States as the reason why Britain lost the Revolutionary War. This is the first time I heard her say the F-word in public. Prince Charles The statement came in what was supposed to be a […]
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Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Satanic message — Peach tree dishes
Reading Time: < 1 minute Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene’s newest conspiracy theory involves “fake meat” and Peach tree dishes. The MAGA-loving politician from Georgia was tossing her fanbase red meat by making fun of impossible burgers. During her rant against the evils of plant-based meat alternatives, she referred to Petri dishes as Peach tree dishes. Many wondered, Is she really […]
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Florida to teach ‘crucifractions’ in public schools
Reading Time: 2 minutes Conservative Christians are heralding another political victory in Florida due to the new regulations concerning crucifractions. The new faith-based math is now mandatory throughout the state. But what are crucifractions? A fraction shows part of a whole. Derived from the Latin word fractio, ‘to break’. A crucifraction is the non-pagan/non-demonic version of a fraction. Florida […]
Posted inComedy
Texas offers guns for banned books
Reading Time: < 1 minute Austin, Texas – Governor Gregg Abbot signed into law a program allowing citizens to bring in books banned in schools and receive firearms as a reward. Dubbed Books for Guns (BfG), Republican lawmakers are hoping to preserve “traditional Christian morals” and promote “Texan values.” Books that promote weird and unusual lifestyles pose a real danger […]
Posted inComedy
The big secular, #resist meme dump
Reading Time: 2 minutes You have to love a funny and secular meme. OK, maybe love is too strong a word, but maybe crush on it a bit. I don’t know how you deal with anxiety or depression or how expensive a gallon of gas is. Life can seem like its intent on raining on parades and doing that […]
Posted inComedy
NRA: Flags at half-staff are unpatriotic
Reading Time: 2 minutes Responding to the latest mass shooting at Robb Elementary School at Uvalde, Texas the NRA released a statement saying flying flags at half-staff after such events is unpatriotic. The Guardian reported on the shooting shortly after the tragedy occurred. The shooting occurred in Uvalde, Texas, a town of about 15,000 people about 85 miles west of […]