fbpx

OnlySky is dedicated to protecting America’s secular democracy through reality-based journalism, storytelling, and commentary. But as a reader-supported platform, we need your help to do this work. Can we count you in?

$
$

Your contribution is appreciated.

Paying the transaction fee is not required, but it directs more money in support of our mission.

OnlySky is dedicated to protecting America’s secular democracy through reality-based journalism, storytelling, and commentary.

Subscribe to Our Newsletters

Get world-class secular storytelling delivered to your inbox every week.

Newsletters

OR

By signing up, you agree to our Privacy Policy and Terms of Service

Thank you for registering!

Get the best of OnlySky in your inbox every week.

Posted inReligion

If Only He Knew (How to Prioritize His Wife)

Reading Time: 10 minutes We return now to Gary Smalley’s terrible Christian marriage-advice book If Only He Knew. This time, we examine advice that appears in every single such book: that to maintain a happy, harmonious marriage, spouses should prioritize their god over their partners. This book continues that tradition. But is this advice really useful? And how can Christians actually put it into practice? Today, we ask questions about one of the mainstays of Christian marriage advice.

Posted inUncategorized

If Only He Knew (What Compassion Is)

Reading Time: 9 minutes While reading this awful book, I quickly realized that Gary Smalley wasn’t suggesting his readers make any big changes in their behavior or attitudes. Rather, he only wanted to show them some techniques to ease the worst of their marital crises. But those efforts are doomed to fail. Today, I’ll show you why his suggestions represent the weakest of all weak sauce.

Posted inReligion

If Only He Knew: This’ll Be On the Quiz

Reading Time: 13 minutes Author Gary Smalley coaches complementarian men in repairing their failing marriages. And as we all know, the first step in fixing a problem is identifying it. Right? So today, come watch my husband, Mr. Captain Cassidy, take a quiz to find out how much trouble our marriage is in. Who knows? Maybe we really need Gary Smalley’s help!

Posted inReligion

If Only He Knew: First, Assume Women Aren’t People

Reading Time: 12 minutes Lately, we’ve been discussing the terrible Christian marriage-advice book If Only He Knew. Written by Gary Smalley, the book seeks to walk men through repairs to their failing marriages. But his fans only want advice that will allow them to keep the ideology destroying their relationships. They especially protect one central idea, the pillar of complementarianism: women as less-than-human. Indeed, complementarianism only works if women aren’t really people. Here’s why.

Posted inReligion

If Only He Knew: Villains Helping Villains

Reading Time: 12 minutes Hi! Lately, we’ve been talking about a terrible Christian marriage-advice book, If Only He Knew. In it, author Gary Smalley promises his readers surefire techniques they can use to save their ailing marriages. Last time, I offhandedly mentioned my surprise at seeing Gary Smalley described as kindhearted. This dude’s anything but! Today, let me show you just how kindhearted […]

Posted inReligion

If Only He Knew: The Target Audience Within Complementarianism

Reading Time: 7 minutes Though he kept these facts on the down-low, Gary Smalley himself was a big-name complementarian and evangelical Christian. Because he wrote from that perspective, his tribe didn’t even care that he lacked any qualifications for counseling married couples. Today, I’ll show you why that perspective matters more than qualifications to Gary Smalley’s target audience–and why that audience would turn to poor-quality advice like his for help.

Sign In

We've recently sent you an authentication link. Please, check your inbox!

Sign in with a password below, or sign in using your email.

Get a code sent to your email to sign in, or sign in using a password.

Enter the code you received via email to sign in, or sign in using a password.

Subscribe to our newsletters:

OR

By signing up, you agree to our Terms and Conditions.