Reading Time: 5 minutes This entire column, not just this entry, contains a content warning. I will be writing about suicide, depression, post-traumatic stress, and other serious topics. If you are having suicidal thoughts, please reach out to someone you trust, establish care with a therapist, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (800-273-8255), or go to your nearest emergency […]
guilt
Posted inParenting & Family, Religion
What Kind of Parent Would Your Faith Make?
Reading Time: 6 minutes We are not fallen angels but emerging beings. —Bishop Spong I’ve been trying for a while to boil down my chief objections to the faith of my youth, and I think I’ve settled on the metaphor that best sums it up. I’ve decided my greatest problem with the Christian faith isn’t its avoidance of responsibility […]
Posted inUncategorized
The Worst Parent Ever
Reading Time: 4 minutes Are you a parent? If you are, then I’d like you to try a thought experiment. Imagine that your 4-year-old child struts up to you and proudly hands you a colorful drawing of, well…you’re not entirely sure WHAT it is. Then she tells you that it’s a drawing of her and you, neither of whom […]
Posted inEthics and Morality, Politics, Psychology
Shame vs Guilt: The Rise of Shaming in Western Cultures
Reading Time: 5 minutes Guilt is often something associated with the Catholic Church. However, according to many, it goes deeper and larger than that. Guilt can be seen as very much a western, cultural characteristic that is used to great effect in more individualistic cultures. Shame, on the other hand, can be seen as more of a collectivist cultural […]
Posted inCulture, Religion, Sex & Gender
Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby
Reading Time: 5 minutes Writing about sex is hard. Heh. And it’s not just because the innuendos keep coming again and again whether you want them to or not. What makes it so…um…difficult…is that people cannot stop telling you what you should do, how you should think, and how you should talk about your own sexuality. It’s not just […]
Posted inUncategorized
Why Christianity Works So Well (On Some of Us)
Reading Time: 8 minutes When talking about my past relationship with Christianity, I talk a lot about shame. When I think back over the thirty-odd years I lived as a Christian, as far back into my childhood as I can remember, what stands out most to me is the guilt and shame I carried for all my sins, past, […]
Posted inGeneral
Shame vs. Guilt
Reading Time: 2 minutes The roadtrip-inspired observations continue. Here’s why I like Brené Brown’s distinction between experiences of guilt and shame.
Posted inLeaving Religion
I let my husband rape me, and here’s why
Reading Time: 17 minutes I have spent the last few weeks wondering if I should own this story or if I’ve said too much, but I think it’s time we have a very open and honest discussion about domestic violence and rape. The repercussions of shame and silence are far too great not to speak up. When we hear […]
Posted inReligion, Sex & Gender
Bearing False Witness…Against Yourself
Reading Time: 3 minutes If you grew up in the Christian church, you probably have heard people speak of “testifying about” what God has done in their lives. Other times they speak of “sharing their testimony” or “sharing their story” of how Jesus changed or healed them. Most of us are probably at least somewhat familiar with the general template for […]
Posted inSex & Gender
Escaping A Culture of Repentance
Reading Time: 6 minutes I was fourteen years old when an older boy showed up on my street. I often walked my dog in the evenings, and he would drive up and down the street, slowing down to offer me every sex act he knew about (and a few I’m sure he knew nothing about at all). He tried to get me into […]