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Posted inSatire

An open letter from Sesame Street to Ted Cruz

Reading Time: 2 minutes Dear Senator Cruz, Recently, you took issue with our young Elmo getting a COVID vaccine shot. Elmo, a 3-1/2-year-old puppet, was demonstrating to scared children out there that the shot was just “a little pinch,” and that they shouldn’t be afraid. You also took issue with his father Louie saying that it’s okay for parents […]

Posted inComedy

Summer hacks for those who prefer the great indoors

Reading Time: 2 minutes Outdoor thing: Lounging by the pool INDOOR HACK: Instead of risking overexposure to those pesky UVs, draw yourself a nice, warm bath. Then, using your seasonal depression lamp that you prefer to use year-round, give yourself the illusion of sun. If you find yourself still missing the pool atmosphere, light a sunscreen-scented candle and play […]

Posted inComedy

Megachurch ministers embezzle millions of thoughts and prayers

Reading Time: 2 minutes In a shocking new report from OnlySky media, scores of megachurch ministers embezzled millions of thoughts and prayers from the faithful. Thoughts and prayers meant to heal the sick, find car keys, and win bingo went to fund minsters’ extravagent lifestyles. OnlySky Reporter Andrew Canard Anonymous hackers broke into the private emails of Joel Osteen, […]

Posted inSatire

Decolonizing The Grinch

Reading Time: 6 minutes Hi. I’m Casey. I’m a hetero cis white guy. As such, I feel compelled to broadcast my every opinion.  But I’m learning! At the beginning of the Black Lives Matter movement, I took a cue to start listening, reading, and generally paying attention to the voices of people who don’t look or sound like me. […]

Posted inComedy

Pac-Man = Purgatory? Yes.

Reading Time: 2 minutes What happens to arcade game characters when they die?  It’s not the stupidest question ever asked (that honor goes to “But what about her emails?”) and it’s well within the normal parameters of people who get paid to sit around pondering how many angels can fit on the head of a pin. Given that theology […]

Posted inComedy

Florida to teach ‘crucifractions’ in public schools

Reading Time: 2 minutes Conservative Christians are heralding another political victory in Florida due to the new regulations concerning crucifractions. The new faith-based math is now mandatory throughout the state. But what are crucifractions? A fraction shows part of a whole. Derived from the Latin word fractio, ‘to break’. A crucifraction is the non-pagan/non-demonic version of a fraction. Florida […]

Posted inComedy

Apple discontinues Catholic clergy app KidR

Reading Time: 2 minutes Just days after Apple discontinued the iPod, it announced the discontinuation of KidR, the #1 app for Catholic priests. As of 11:59 PM this Saturday, the app will be wiped out of existence. The woke mob forced Apple to cancel KidR. Won’t anyone think about the children? Archbishop of Boston Sean O’Malley The app’s main […]