Reading Time: 12 minutes When J.J. Abrams adapted Star Trek: The Original Series for a new era of cinema, he made choices that reflected a 21st century shift in representation: no, not by including people from more diverse backgrounds, but by reducing the acceptable parameters for onscreen masculinity in a franchise with a much more storied past. Gone, in […]
relationships
Posted inFilm/TV
‘Spock Amok’: Walk a mile in my ears
Reading Time: 9 minutes One of the most important facets of Star Trek: The Original Series was its spirit of play. In some ways, this was necessary. The series would often be filmed haphazardly, scripts written and handed off to actors last-minute, the late-60s wing-and-a-prayer production flying by the seat of its pants to make it all work on […]
Posted inSexuality
In defense of the May/December relationship
Reading Time: 4 minutes I met my future husband in 1996, two years after losing my partner Brian to cancer. A former British army recruit, Brian was 47, I was a couple of years older. We’d been together for two decades. Then I met Marcus. Frankly, I thought nothing would develop out of our chance encounter on a tube […]
Posted inSexuality
Jada and Will’s open relationship is none of your business
Reading Time: 3 minutes While the main focus of the recent Oscars ceremony has been on the joke that played a role in the violent interaction between Will Smith and Chris Rock, I think the jokes about the Smiths’ open relationship bear discussing, particularly the false assumption that they cause violence. Before I jump in here, I want to […]
Posted inComedy
What not to say during sex
Reading Time: < 1 minute I was inspired by Erin Louis’ piece 10 secular alternatives to “Oh My God” during sex and decided to write this autobiographical post. While Erin explores the many alternatives of what you can say during intercourse, I would like to share what not to say. How do I know what not to say during sex? […]
Posted inCulture
Soulmates? No. The person who changes your tire at 10pm in 10-degree weather? Yes.
Reading Time: 3 minutes As someone who studies non-monogamy and the messed-up gender norms in heterosexual relationships, I’ve never been super into the concept of soulmates. It sounds nice on paper, but I’m more interested in proof, like who has your back when the going gets tough. One of the main points I’ve made about non-monogamy in the past […]
Posted inGeneral
The Drama Triangle Explains a Lot
Reading Time: 4 minutes A lot of interpersonal stuff gets more stable with three people involved, rather than just two. So drama-seekers find it far more rewarding to bounce off of two people rather than just one.
Posted inReligion
How to Totally Solve Spiritual Drought
Reading Time: 5 minutes Hi and welcome back! Yesterday, we checked out a Christian essay describing spiritual drought. That’s the feeling Christians get when they just don’t feel connected or filled-up by their god. At any given time, huge numbers of Christians feel this way. And obviously, that’s a problem. After all, their marketing says their god is standing by, […]
Posted inReligion
Celebrity PKs Arise: The Preachers’ Kids Speak
Reading Time: 8 minutes Hi and welcome back! Of late, I’m noticing a new trend in the news: the children of celebrity pastors are starting to speak up — and against their famous parents. PKs, or preachers’ kids, already have a rough row to hoe. But the ones with celebrity parents have kept pretty quiet over the years — until […]
Posted inReligion
Ex-Christians and the Myth of the Virtuous Deconversion Excuse
Reading Time: 11 minutes Today, let me show you what a virtuous excuse is, and why you’ll find none of them in the evangelical conceptualization of deconversion.