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Right-wing pastor Perry Stone finally figured out how to preach to an audience without anyone catching COVID-19.

The man best known to the internet for checking his phone while speaking on tongues and for claiming to speak four languages at once (also in tongues) delivered perhaps his greatest sermon yet yesterday.

Or maybe it’s the saddest.

He began by saying “I know this is going against all the rules, but I have an audience here,” but have no fear because “there is absolutely no way they will ever get this virus.”

I won’t spoil it for you.

Just watch.

YouTube video

Jeff Dunham, eat your heart out.

Usually pastors speak to a real audience about an imaginary threat. This guy’s speaking to a fake audience about a real one.

(Thanks to Kyle for the link)

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Hemant Mehta is the founder of, a YouTube creator, podcast co-host, and author of multiple books about atheism. He can be reached at @HemantMehta.