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For several years now, Christian blogger and professional mommy-shamer Lori Alexander (“The Transformed Wife”) has used her platform to decry feminists. Those rants occasionally go viral.

But her latest attempt to separate feminists from Proper Christian Women is just comically bizarre. Keep in mind that the left column—the “Feminists” column—is meant to be the bad one.

Some of it doesn’t make sense even on her own terms. Instead of casting off feminists as “godless” women who would never read the Bible (which I would think are the obvious choices), Lori Alexander says they would (gasp) preach in church and twist “God’s Word.”

She treats going to college and having a career as if they’re in opposition to having a family and being a mother. Many women want (and do) all of the above. It’s not like you have to choose one path or the other.

She celebrates silence in church, submission at home, and “sexual purity.” In her case, that last one means always being available to your husband no matter what, even if it’s abusive. She once dismissed criticism of that point by flippantly asking, “how long does it take?“… which tells you more than you ever wanted to know about her own sex life.

Meanwhile, she condemns independent thinking, reproductive choice, and any decision that might lead to personal happiness. God apparently wants none of those things. Her God just wants women to open their legs, shut their mouths, and accept the consequences.

The whole thing looks more like an atheist’s parody of what a fundamentalist Christian woman would want, not a sincere list made by an actual fundamentalist Christian woman. And yet, I have to remind you, Lori Alexander is a real person.

Even if you don’t think this chart is legitimate, this mindset is very much at the heart of many evangelical churches—the supposed “Proverbs 31” woman. How many lives have been ruined or made worse because women believed they had to fit into this mold instead of pursuing their own hopes and dreams?

Let’s hope more women choose the Feminists side of Lori Alexander’s chart. They deserve it.

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Hemant Mehta is the founder of FriendlyAtheist.com, a YouTube creator, podcast co-host, and author of multiple books about atheism. He can be reached at @HemantMehta.