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Christian influencer Emma Antebellum proudly announced on TikTok that she recently got breast implants which are filled with holy water.

My breasts are filled with the Holy Spirit.

Emma antebellum

Breast implants consist of a silicone shell that holds either a silicone jell or saline water. Both are considered safe even though the shell may rupture over time. However, there are growing voices on the possible deleterious health effects they may pose to women.

YouTube video

Emma told her fans she was inspired to get breast implants while reading 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

“Honoring Jesus with my body means to me going from a B-cup to a D-cup,” she said. “And you know what? Just as Jesus bought my soul my super fans purchased these implants. I am so blessed.”

Not only did the water in Emma’s implants get blessed by a priest, but the water itself also came from the Sea of Galilee. This freshwater lake is where Jesus supposedly walked on water, calmed a storm, fed the masses with a few fish and loaves, and where John the Baptist baptized him.

A vast majority of Emma’s male fans are supporting her decision to “augment for Jesus.” They believe that God moves in mysterious ways and sometimes that means moving implants into breasts. The financial support she is receiving from them is rising considerably. Female fans are more lukewarm but understand Jesus is a man and men like women that way.

Other Christian influencers are considering undergoing the procedure. They just want to let the public know it isn’t about getting more money. “It’s about getting more money for me and Christ,” one said.

In related news, Marjorie Taylor Greene believes there is a planet named Georgia.


Note: I did a quick Googling for Christian breast implants and didn’t find anything. Is it only a matter of time before it’s a thing?

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Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He's made millions of people laugh as well as angry. (He hopes he's made the right people annoyed.) Targets...