Reading Time: 3 minutes Last month, Disney World attendees witnessed another type of parade of characters up Main St as the first family of Florida, the DeSantis’s, officially moved into their new digs. Just 48 hours earlier, the newly appointed Governor-backed Reedy Creek Improvement Board took over and declared that the Magic Kingdom was now the Governor’s mansion. It was the […]
Satire
Exquisitely scorching satire from a secular, nonreligious perspective.
Posted inSatire
‘Thoughts and prayers’ checks flood into the DeSantis campaign
Reading Time: 2 minutes Tallahassee, Florida – Checks made out for the amount of “thoughts and prayers” are flooding into the Ron DeSantis for President Campaign. There are so many fake ones we’re accidentally throwing out real checks. DeSantis campaign worker Thoughts and prayers No one knows who wrote the first check mocking the GOP tagline of thoughts and […]
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Joel Osteen tests negative for Christianity
Reading Time: 2 minutes Houston, Texas – Megachurch minister and multimillionaire Joel Osteen tested negative for Christianity early this morning. The random blood test showed the man who made a fortune on the prosperity gospel is, in fact, not a Christian. Blood tests and science are Satan’s tools. Joel Osteen This new blood test doomed Joel Osteen The new […]
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Marjorie Taylor Greene attacked by schoolchildren
Reading Time: 3 minutes Atlanta, Georgia – Republican Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene was hoping to cause mayhem and controversy by stating she’s going to visit every single elementary school in Georgia armed with a fully loaded AR-15. Schools don’t educate our kids these days, so I’m going to teach them a gun lesson. Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene However, no […]
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Elon Musk ‘humiliated’ over Twitter bankruptcy
Reading Time: 4 minutes Elon Musk admitted in a closed-door meeting with Twitter’s C-suite executives that he feels “humiliated” by the social media platform’s upcoming bankruptcy We’re out of money and there’s nothing I can do about it. Elon Musk What sank Twitter? Economists and financial analysts point to Elon Musk’s disastrous decision to buy the archaic social media […]
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Tiffany Trump backstabs sister Ivanka
Reading Time: 4 minutes Ivanka Trump is telling her close friends and associates that her younger sister Tiffany “backstabbed her” and now Ivanka is no longer welcomed at Mar-a-Lago or on her father’s campaign trail. There are reports that Ivanka is choosing to stay away from former President Trump’s public engagements. The official story is that she is done […]
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Jesus killed by Israeli state forces in Palestine
Reading Time: < 1 minute International press agencies are reporting that, due to a tragic case of mistaken identity, the Second Coming of Jesus Christ was shot dead in the West Bank on Friday. “The IDF regrets shooting Jesus,” said an Israeli army spokesman. “In our defence, the dove he was holding looked just like a grenade from 500 yards away. […]
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Kid Rock loses lawsuit and has to pay
Reading Time: 2 minutes Judge Andrew Canard of LA County ruled today that rapper and Trump supporter Kid Rock needs to pay The Walt Disney Company $10 million for what’s being called a frivolous lawsuit. Kid Rock, whose real name is Robert James Ritchie, rose to fame with his breakthrough 1998 album Devil Without a Cause. His 2001 album […]
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Spring arraignment fashions
Reading Time: < 1 minute It’s only April, and already New York high society is preparing for the must-attend event of the year. OnlySky spoke to Bryce Yeoville, fashion coordinator for major functions in New York, about how to dress properly for an arraignment. “It’s hard to believe he used to be president,” he laughs. “It seems like another lifetime!” Usually, […]
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Minister practices hands-on testing for breast cancer
Reading Time: 2 minutes Judsonia, Arkansas – Minister Bill Knob is offering free faith-based breast cancer screenings. Reverend Knob is offering this service to select women of Steprock County. What is raising eyebrows is the good reverend is laying hands on the women’s breasts to discern if any tumors are present. My hands are your mammograms. Minister Bill Knob Faith-Based […]